Biography

Hello world. My name's Marian. pronounced as (night mare + du rian). Alternatively, you can choose to call me maryanne.

i work in the entertaintment/service industry (had and soon to be). I wont say i love it and wont say i hate it either.

I have a soft spot for furry animals hence my aspiration to become a vet, which sadly, has not been realised.

i talk alot. so much that i even talk in my sleep.oh, and i ocassionally hum music when im sleeping too. i'm currently attached!! to my kelee for 3 years (: . oh, and i hate celery btw.

you can contact me ataya_splashy112@hotmail.com.

Feastyour eyes

Quote of the day;

“In the end, it's not going to matter how many breaths you took, but how many moments that took your breath away.”
Shing Xiong

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Pastentries

Creditorials

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Friday, September 30, 2005

GROWING UP EPISODE 16~!

haha time passes really fast. it doesnt fly. it travels at the speed of light! haha to think that october is approaching soon and yes. the promos will end in a weeks time! LIKE GOSH surprise surprise. actually no surprise haha. reminising back on the past.. i kinda just cant help but ponder and laugh about those silly little things that i use to do. and how stupid,naive and ignorant i use to be haha! but thats all a thing of the past. from silly games to crushes, oblivious to things happenin around me and how ppl were reacting to me, easily contented with just an pepsi ice sorbet on a stick that costs only 10cent, cried easily at the slightest things that happen, use to think that boys were stupid, bullied a guy in tution together with my cousin by shootin paper bullets at him with rubber bands, always pretended to b a real reserved n swt gal infront of strangers but truth is im rrly loud and crazy, to the first time when a guy told an innocent gal that has been stayin in a nunnery for 5 yrs that he found her cute durin maths tution and she gave him a puzzled and disgusted look, use to think that all boys were like my cousin, use to hate this really fat guy in kindergarten, i would climb up on the dining table sit there and start eating chocolates when noone was at home, play fishing on the stairs with my cousin ; behave like a boy and play transformers/power rangers with my cousin again, pretended to b chefs with my pri sch galfren jeslyn, hid at the backseat of the car together with her, lied to my mum that jes n i were goin to play badminton when we were not and later turned ourselves in, then i grew up- went to sec sch and realise guys were another thing and gals were not only for fun but also for comfort and shoppin (: use to go so crazy over irc n internet frens, used to play neopets and silly habbo 24/7 and thats where i met j, tot i fell in love with him cause he was so damm sweet and nice and was an angmoh, use to go so crazyyy over everything he does and boy was i mad. now he has a galfren though from what i see, its no wonder time travels like light. use to feel that gerri and i din belong to the right sch and had confused identities, use to treat those yellow singlet ppl like gods, n stil do actually except that they r no longer gods, use to gt moved easily by anyone who had a way for words, cried for days once over a silly threat that wasnt even gona happen, went crazy over a bunch of 5 stupid idiots who made me spend a hellova money n time - use to queue day and night for their autograph sessions and concert, how i always cry over animes, jap dramas or korean dramas n still do. then i became more mature with a gain in confidence and now have a new look at life, made new frens and here i am now (: 16 goin on to 17 here i come.

but first i gotta conquer my promos first.

Sunday, September 18, 2005

what am i to do. please tell me. cause im lost and i need directions. my life is in a mess and i need corrections. its too late to turn back now when im in too deep.

Wednesday, September 14, 2005

Wednesday, September 07, 2005

thanks everyone (:

a simple thank you from the bottom of my heart..

Tuesday, September 06, 2005

ive never stopped crying since yesterday. i cant tell myself to be strong when im not. IM NOT STRONG. im very mentally and emotionally affected by this whole ordeal ok. i do not think on the brightside so nothing's gona help. i know there wont be any speedy recovery if i continue like this. but i cant help it! I REALLY CANT. I FEEL THAT NOOONE UNDERSTANDS THE PAIN IM GOIN THRU NOW. i cant even SLEEP PROPERLY. EAT PROPERLY i have to eat with a teaspoon. i have lost 2 kg in jus 2 days. i have constant FEVER. i experience constant PAIN. im livin off painkillers and antibiotics. I CANT TAKE IT ANYMORE.

Monday, September 05, 2005

I CANT STAND IT ANYMORE,IM LIVING ON PAINKILLERS!!! LORD SAVE ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i wonder why ppl want to go thru so much pain jus to have straight teeth. i mean why!?!?!? i rather have ugly crooked teeth than to go thru so much pain, be deprived of food n my fav tidbits snacks =,(!!!!

dont get me wrong it wasnt the braces that was causing me pain but my tooth extractions! complications have occurred...and it isnt gonna be good.i tend to think on the negative side all the time so naturally i have a tendency to only mention all the negative things ive experienced in these few days god bless.

the things as mentioned here may be exaggerated but let me assure you that 80% of it is true!! esp the pain i experienced on the first day that i rated 8/10. i will never forget that.

TORTUROUS DAY NO 1(2nd sept): i came back home happily! =D all smiles cause i survived the tooth extractions little did i know what i was gonna experience later. everything was fine until an hr later i suddenly felt stabbing and intense pain in my right gum when the anaesthetic started to wear off. it hurt like hell, i cant find anywords to describe that level of pain but it is nothing like ive experienced before. i rate it 8/10. it was so extreme that i cldnt even do anything or even think properly. i was sobbing and screamin hysterically in my room while lying down and tuggin at my blanket violently. i tried to indulge myself in music thinking that it may distract me from the pain but it din help at all. i started persping like crazy too due to the pain (my room was well ventilated). i even tried inflictin pain on myself elsewhere hoping to relieve or lessen the pain in my left gum. i did not use any sharp objects or inflict any wounds on myself though but i did dig my nails into my tighs , that didnt help much too as i felt nothing. in the end i had to drag myself to the kitchen n hose myself up onto the table to take the painkillers the pain was so extreme that even the grounded paracetamol mixed with water din taste least bit bitter. aft that the pain went away n i felt much better. everything was goin fine..at least thats what i tot.

total no of painkillers taken: 3


TORTUROUS DAY NO 2 (3rd sept): i woke up at 4 due to throbbing pain coming not from my right gum but from my LEFT gum. went back to slp and woke up at 6.30 once again, 9 n finally at 10. it felt kinda swollen. i went for breakfast (condensed milk plus water) then took the painkillers(this time it was real bitter!). felt kinda weird that the pain was comin from my left gum when it was perfectly fine the day before. i didnt thought much of it thinking that it wld go away by the end of saturday but i was wrong wrong WRONG. the pain continued for the rest of the day and it bothered me quite abit as it was a dull sore throbbing pain (rated 5/10). at night i felt much better due to the painkillers and all. but it wasnt the end of my pain! while bathing i accidentally splat a huge chunk of pantene shampoo into my left eye! i was swinging my hand fast towards my hair and go figure. it was terrible. aft rinsing it with water i tot eyedrops wld help but instead it was like adding salt to an open wound it hurt like crazy i started tearing and god that helped alot. aft that things were fine (: fell aslp kinda early at 10.

total no of painkillers taken:5


TORTUROUS DAY NO 3(4th sept): this was the worse day of all the other days put together. i woke up at 5.30 due to the pain once more went back to slp and woke at 7 again. i decided to go have breakfast but din wana tak any painkillers as i feel its not very healthy to be constantly on painkillers even though you're allowed to have at most 10 a day. the pain was bearable but yet it was drivin me crazy!! i tried to go to slp but the pain wldnt let me. i ended up lying on my bed, crying and praying hoping all this wld jus go away but the next thing i know. BAM FEVER. eventually i fel aslp , i dont know how but when i woke up the fever was at its peak. and worst is there was noone at home to offer me comfort or reassurance! my mum and sis left early morn for my late grandma's death anniversary, and my dad left for golf even earlier than them. i was left sick feelin terrible all alone at home. i felt very weak when i woke up..as if all my energy was zapped away by someone...felt rather hungry but had no intentions or whatsoever to cook porridge for myself. at the same time i felt like vomiting it was terrible. i finally got out of bed and into the kitchen (it took quite awhile) had condense milk with water . i felt a lil better and all but it still din help much, pain was still there n all i wanted someone there for me while i was sufferin and all i had for company was my pathetic bolster. finally at bout 3pm my dad came back!! thank godd.!!! he came home to find me sitting on the sofa sobbing and huggin my bolster while watchin disney channel. i finally gave into the painkillers and took two of em, i felt much much much better i was so grateful that finally someone was home! evntually the fever went down but not the pain though.

p.s i read online bout extractions and throbbing pain in my extraction site aft the extraction it may be due to a dry socket or infection but din give much attention to any of them as i tot it wld mayb go away by the end of today.

total no of painkillers taken :4

TORTUROUS DAY NO 4(5th sept): woke up at 7 today due to the pain once more nothing new. felt kinda sad that evrything's still the same (the pain has not gone away) but the pain has indeed subsided. but the bad thing was that my lower lip jaw and chin was completely numb when i woke up i tried pokin it with my finger but i dont feel anything even now. worse is the swelling has not gone down at all. i feel like theres a whole chunk of cotton wool stuffed into my left lower cheek. and i cant open my mouth wide or it will hurt tremendously. i tried slpin jus now at 10 but woke up again due toe the pain and fever. i took a painkiller and yep im feelin much better now (: but the numbness stil hasnt gone away at all. this serious as ive read online that it may be due to a nerve being damaged or bruised. i dont wana jump into any conclusions yet but all i can do is just wait for the dentists' verdict later.

Numbness to Lower Jaw, Lip and Chin

Roots of lower wisdom tooth overlap or wrap around the nerve of the lower jaw (inferior alveolar nerve), presence of pathology or infection that involves the nerve of the lower jaw

Resolution of symptoms depends on the degree of injury to the nerve - condition may be temporary or permanent.

total no of painkillers taken up to now (12.23pm) : 2